I'm sadly slipping into singing from a broken

record entitled ... "bringing in the literalist sheep" or "nearer my LaHaye/Jenkins Literalist Fantasy to thee."

We believe in JEEEEEZUSSSS! Yeah?

Reverend Jabba the Falwell told humanity: "You're a failure as a human being if you're not a born again Christian" - i.e., if you haven't accepted Jesus as your personal savior.

So, Jesus had to accept Himself as His personal savior to meet the Born Identity?

and Jesus had to acknowledge Jesus as his personal savior to avoid being left alone in the clouds while the rest of the born-agains will be snatched into heaven when the end times begin?

and Jesus rightfully intended that early followers should found - not caring communities - but cadres of conservative capitalist Christians intent on plowing up the lilies,

strip mining the Mount of Olives,

clear cutting the Garden of Gesthemene

and stoning all heretical "failures as human beings" as defined by St. Falwell?

... so that 2000 years later self-righteous and self-aggrandizing fatheads could tell millions of the hypnotized on worldwide television ... "me and Jesus were talking last week. Now J didn't say the word 'nuclear' but he did say that His favorite country was going to get some hellfire and damnation cause of its on-going practice of tolerance and failure to condemn sinners."

Yeah?

Well Pat me boy, I was talking to Jake (my Aussie Shepherd) last week and wow! Jake barked his dog talk, but I heard the voice of JEEEEEZUSSSS in those woofs!

And Jeeeeezusss told me that I needed to start paying more attention to him cause there was a trinitarian broadcast fathead who couldn't see past the halo on his nose, was saying some dang stupid stuff but leaving out all the "verily verily's" that are supposed to introduce prophecy when proclaimed.

But I ramble ...