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I'm sadly slipping into singing from a broken

record entitled ... "bringing in the literalist sheep" or "nearer my LaHaye/Jenkins Literalist Fantasy to thee."

We believe in JEEEEEZUSSSS! Yeah?

Reverend Jabba the Falwell told humanity: "You're a failure as a human being if you're not a born again Christian" - i.e., if you haven't accepted Jesus as your personal savior.

So, Jesus had to accept Himself as His personal savior to meet the Born Identity?

and Jesus had to acknowledge Jesus as his personal savior to avoid being left alone in the clouds while the rest of the born-agains will be snatched into heaven when the end times begin?

and Jesus rightfully intended that early followers should found - not caring communities - but cadres of conservative capitalist Christians intent on plowing up the lilies,

strip mining the Mount of Olives,

clear cutting the Garden of Gesthemene

and stoning all heretical "failures as human beings" as defined by St. Falwell?

... so that 2000 years later self-righteous and self-aggrandizing fatheads could tell millions of the hypnotized on worldwide television ... "me and Jesus were talking last week. Now J didn't say the word 'nuclear' but he did say that His favorite country was going to get some hellfire and damnation cause of its on-going practice of tolerance and failure to condemn sinners."


Well Pat me boy, I was talking to Jake (my Aussie Shepherd) last week and wow! Jake barked his dog talk, but I heard the voice of JEEEEEZUSSSS in those woofs!

And Jeeeeezusss told me that I needed to start paying more attention to him cause there was a trinitarian broadcast fathead who couldn't see past the halo on his nose, was saying some dang stupid stuff but leaving out all the "verily verily's" that are supposed to introduce prophecy when proclaimed.

But I ramble ...

The prime directive probably included tax cuts for all alien civilization members with income equal to 1000 times the average working alien's earnings, eh?

Of course what they didn't tell us was that the dilithium crystals originally were renewable but a company named Monsanto figured out how to change their internal structure into something more battery-like -- called them genetic dilithium crystals that could not be re-energized the old fashioned way ...

and that for every prime directive violated, the Enterprise carried a contingency crew for easing the impact and cleaning up the mess: the Federation Enterprise Mop-up Authority: FEMA

Awe ... here we go again .....

More of that hard-to-read intellekchal stuff that me and George are aginst.

They have a saying in Texas ... and I'm sure it's out here somewhere in the Payloose or someplace else ... "fool around me once and ... er,"

"fool me around once or twice ... er, "

"fool around with me or my wife ..."

Oh what the hell ...

Concepts are fungamental ... you don't need to go read no phillysophicles plays and dial-a-prayers to figure out the basic stuff.

If this Socrater guy and Aristophupperlips came into the bar where I'm drinking and start spoutin all that foreign-illegal-Greecey-immigrant talk, I'd know how to put em in their place ... me and my brush-cuttin chain saw.

you dang intellechal's are presickley the reason why statecraft and good governance should come out of the end of a beer bottle and not some dang misoverestimated thespiaknickers class at UW or them other Kudzu-League schools.

You know which ones I'm talkin about - those schools where lots of thinking gets done but ain't none of them won a Rose Bowl in my lifetime.

Your's Truly fer me 'n George,

Jake Turnrose

Arthur & Lietta Ruger 2002-2008. The American Choice is a  political internet journal based in Bay Center, Washington. The views expressed not authored by Arthur or Lietta Ruger are the writers' own and do not necessarily reflect those of The American Choice or SwanDeer Productions. Permission of author required for reprinting original material, and only requests for reprinting a specific item are considered.