08/10/2007
I Have Struck Gold on Superstition Mountain!
Did you know that if you look in a bible reference for the word "humor", you won't find it?
No dice with "comedy" either.
You can find deprecating references to "mirth" and dire threats against laughers, but that's about it.
After that lack of success mining the Bible for humor. I then decided to check out "sober" since
that seems to be the automatic stance of most of the Christian celebrities who publicly tell God what to do and the people
how to behave.
With a broken heart, contrite spirit, real intent and serious mien I went a-seeking (using my LDS King James
Version cause it has this very very COOL Topical Guide that is combination concordance and commentary).
After all, isn't that what Mitt Romney would do?
In addition, the Topical Guide doesn't self-destruct if an apostate like me opens it up for usage. I know,
I know ... the Topical Guide has of course been dogma-fied to conform to LDS orthodoxy and myth, but ... well ... to
each his own.
A good reference book is a good reference book whether Mitt uses it or Bob Jones burns it, right.
Anyway, using the LDS Topical Guide while chasing sobriety, I ran into this one:
"Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind."
Brethren, Cialis!!!
1Peter Chapter 1 verse 13.
Omigosh That's it!
I have struck gold on Superstition Mountain!!
THAT is how and why America's Fundamentalist Literalist Christianity slipped on a scriptural banana peel in
the 19th century. That's why literalists have taken themselves way too seriously.
They are overworking their loins!
Their tender loins ...
their hot loins ...
their aroused loins ...
all kinds of loins that they've been commanded to gird now for 2000 years
... all them loins
... all girded up
... until all they can think about are girded loins
... Catholic and Protestant fundamentalists adoring Jehovah who seems to be the ultimate loin girder
... no wonder Old Wrathful and the Literalists are obsessed with human sexuality.
It's girding the hell out of them.
© Arthur Ruger
