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Spring 2006
My azimuthal perspective about our business card designs

-especially after a famous Seattle independent avante garde film maker invited himself to our house in Bay Center so he and his sweetie could watch the Academy awards
- all four hours of it
- because his Bay Center still-under-construction-alternative residence has no cable or satellite
- and we watched Gore about to declare his candidacy until the music signalled him to stop talking and go siddown
- and when Tom Cruise came on to interoduce some great humanitarian named Sherry Lansing
- who our self-invited guest said that all the Hollywood biggies did not like Lansing
- and that Clint Eastwood rolled his eyes when Cruise named her name
- and that my visitor was pulling for the documentary film from Seattle about Iraq but since Hollywood wanted to make a political statement against Reflublicans and that that Gore's movie was inconveniently a truthful shoe-in
- not a shoephone in either
- so that Hollywood could repudiate the president who didn't get the most votes in 2000
- and when Degeneres started vacuuming the front row and making Penelope Cruz lift her dress and hold it in so the vacuum wouldn't rip it clear up to her bodice
- my avante gard filmaker friend thought that was too avante garde
- or when Degeneres got Spielberg to take a picture of her with Eastwood and then made him do it over because the angle was bad and the picture was bad and Spielberg the producer/director should know better
- and
-- where the hell was I going with all this?

Oh yeah, azimuthal ...

I like card design number #1

Arthur Ruger 2006


Lame Duck Evaluation

I Have Struck Gold on Superstition Mountain!

Did you know that if you look in a bible reference for the word "humor", you won't find it?

No dice with "comedy" either. 

You can find deprecating references to "mirth" and dire threats against laughers, but that's about it.

After that lack of success mining the Bible for humor. I then decided to check out "sober" since that seems to be the automatic stance of most of the Christian celebrities who publicly tell God what to do and the people how to behave.

With a broken heart, contrite spirit, real intent and serious mien I went a-seeking (using my LDS King James Version cause it has this very very COOL Topical Guide that is combination concordance and commentary).

After all, isn't that what Mitt Romney would do?

In addition, the Topical Guide doesn't self-destruct if an apostate like me opens it up for usage. I know, I know ... the Topical Guide has of course been dogma-fied to conform to LDS orthodoxy and myth, but ... well ... to each his own.

A good reference book is a good reference book whether Mitt uses it or Bob Jones burns it, right.

Anyway, using the LDS Topical Guide while chasing sobriety, I ran into this one:

"Wherefore gird up the loins of your mind."

Brethren, Cialis!!!

1Peter Chapter 1 verse 13.

Omigosh That's it!

I have struck gold on Superstition Mountain!!

THAT is how and why America's Fundamentalist Literalist Christianity slipped on a scriptural banana peel in the 19th century. That's why literalists have taken themselves way too seriously.

They are overworking their loins!

Their tender loins ...

their hot loins ...

their aroused loins ...

all kinds of loins that they've been commanded to gird now for 2000 years

... all them loins

... all girded up

... until all they can think about are girded loins

... Catholic and Protestant fundamentalists adoring Jehovah who seems to be the ultimate loin girder

... no wonder Old Wrathful and the Literalists are obsessed with human sexuality.

It's girding the hell out of them.

Arthur Ruger

Humor, Satire & Parody Archives

Goofin with the Bees odds & ends

Well, Don't That Beat All? (06/16/06)

Senator Stevens: My plan to get the egg off your face (06/16/06)

Monkey'in Around With Textbooks (06/01/06)

Colbert and those he makes nervous. (05/09/06)

Windstorm Closes Down Willapa Bay (02/05/06)

Me 'n George are Aginst them there Intellectchals (2005)

Projects, Clashes and Think Tanks for the 21st Century:Academics writing out checks that real human beings - not they - will have to cash. (2005)

The Hunt For Red October & My Smart Dog (08/20/05)

I wish it were only a problem of lame-ducks (08/07/05)

Rush Limbaugh and the Jockstraps (12/12/04)

Jake Turnrose on the PNAC Gallery, Foreign Tongues & Elections (07/01/04)

Arthur & Lietta Ruger 2002-2008. The American Choice is a  political internet journal based in Bay Center, Washington. The views expressed not authored by Arthur or Lietta Ruger are the writers' own and do not necessarily reflect those of The American Choice or SwanDeer Productions. Permission of author required for reprinting original material, and only requests for reprinting a specific item are considered.